Puberty is a time of immense physical and emotional change for pre-teens and teens. As a parent or foster carer, you play a vital role in guiding and supporting them through this transition. However, it can often feel daunting knowing what to say and when. This article offers tips on communication strategies and age-appropriate topics to cover at each stage.
Starting Early with the Basics
Long before the first signs of puberty emerge, you can lay the groundwork for open communication. Teach children the accurate names for body parts from a young age. Get comfortable using words like “penis,” “vagina,” “breasts,” etc. This normalises these terms and sets the stage for later talks.
Around ages 8-9, start explaining basics about puberty like hormonal and body changes. Give a simple overview of menstruation and erections. Don’t overload them with details yet, but ensure they understand that puberty is normal and natural. Teens you foster with an agency like Foster Care Associates may need extra support here if they missed this early education. Provide books, websites, or videos to help introduce concepts.
Emphasise that they can always come to you with questions or concerns without judgement. Say you will answer honestly or help find the answer if you don’t know. Regularly ask if they have any questions. Normalise discussing reproductive health openly.
The Pre-Puberty Years
By ages 9-11, build on their knowledge foundation. Explain more specifics about body changes in puberty for both sexes. Outline what menstruation involves and what erections signify.
Clarify common myths or misinformation kids this age may hear from their peers. Use anatomically correct diagrams to illustrate breast development, pubic hair growth, voice changes, etc. Get their input on what concerns them or interests them about the impending changes.
Continue reinforcing your availability to discuss anything openly and honestly. Foster teens may need extra patience and understanding, as puberty can resurface traumatic memories. Provide empathy while still giving essential health information.
Early Puberty Conversations
Once puberty starts, usually ages 8-14 in girls and 9-15 in boys, your talks will become more relevant and retainable. Initiate check-ins about how they are coping with the changes so far.
Girls will need details about managing periods – what products to use, handling cramps, tracking cycles, etc. Make sure boys understand that erections are normal and uncontrollable. Encourage them to come forward for assistance adjusting to genital development, chest growth, new hair, voice changes, body odour, acne, etc.
Keep the door open for questions. Provide educational books and reliable websites. Don’t make assumptions, as puberty impacts every child differently. Teens may be self-conscious or scared if their development starts later than peers. Offer empathy and reassurance.
Mature Conversations as Puberty Progresses
In the later puberty years, tweak your discussions to match their maturity level. Revisit topics like wet dreams and sexual urges with more nuance. Ensure they understand the risks of sexually transmitted infections and unintended pregnancy. Explain about consent and respectful relationships.
Boys may need reminders that even well-intentioned sexual joking or harassment is unacceptable. Girls may need help establishing boundaries if they experience unwanted advances. Foster teens especially need you to model healthy attitudes, as they may have past trauma.
As things progress, share resources on safe sex and contraception. Avoid shaming! Instead, have open-minded talks about acting responsibly. Keep dialogues going to establish yourself as a trustworthy source for even awkward topics.
Empowering Them Through the Changes
Puberty spans many years and includes dramatic transformation. As a parent/carer, you set the tone for how teens manage this journey. Give them the knowledge, support and resources to feel empowered, not afraid. Let them know it’s normal to find puberty exciting, embarrassing, confusing, or alarming at times. Keep communication compassionate, shame-free and developmentally appropriate. With your guidance, they will navigate puberty and emerge as capable young adults ready to take on the world.